Empowered by Love to gather, strengthen and mobilize
Growing up, there was not a time in my life when I remember NOT being anxious. I grew up without a father and my mother had 3 children to raise. There was stress and more stress in my life including both physical and emotional abuse. My mother remarried an alcoholic and addict and it was more stressful. I married when I was young just to get out of the house. We had 2 children right away-2 girls. I lived in a dream world-and reality was not something I could handle. I began to medicate myself against depression and never ending anxiety. It wasn't long before I was addicted and an alcoholic.
When I turned 30, I knew something had to change-I was getting sicker and sicker and less able to function. I prayed to be a better mom to my girls. I went into treatment in 1990 and with God's help stayed sober for 12 years!
I was raised a Catholic and did have a sense of God being with me. Unfortunately, the depression was still heavy and after my girls left home it worsened. My marriage ended up in divorce.
For the first time in my life-I was ALONE. It was a very, very difficult time for me. I made poor choices and began to drink again. My life spiraled downhill. I had one trauma after another and felt like my daughters just didn't need me anymore. I felt like everyone in my life was so far away and I finally wanted to end it all in 2006. I woke up in the hospital and I heard God's voice saying- “Oh no daughter-I have kept you for a reason-I have plans for you".
One day I was driving home, crying out to God with all my heart and soul. I pleaded with Him to give me a man who needed love as much as I did. Two weeks later He led me to a man named Ken. We knew from the start that we were soul mates. I was very afraid to fall in love again, but we ended up seeing each other every day that summer. I was still very confused and still reeling from the depression. Ken loved the Lord and would read pages of the Bible to me every day. Little did I know that this would slowly bring healing to me. Eight months later Ken and I married. Ken has 2 daughters and my life is full again.
Since then the Blessings just keep coming, including 4 grandchildren (the joys of my life) in 4 years. I cannot describe the love I have for my Lord. I cry every time I try.